The Gift of Encouragement: How to Build Life with Your Words

If Proverbs is right (and it is) then our words carry enormous power. They can build life or break it (see the full sermon from Proverbs 15:1-4 in case you missed it). They can steady a soul or scar it (Proverbs 12:18).  They can shape identity for decades. And one of the most overlooked ways we build life is through encouragement. God has given us the incredible community of His Bride (the local church).  And it’s in and through this community that we have an incredible opportunity to practice the life-giving exhortation to encourage one another (see 1 Thessalonians 5:11).

1. What the Bible says about encouragement (and honor)

   Encouragement is not flattery. It’s not hype. It’s not pretending everything is fine.

   Biblical encouragement is speaking specific truth in a way that strengthens someone’s faith, courage, and resolve. Here’s how Paul exhorts the church to apply the practice of encouragement: “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up” (1 Thess 5:11).

   Furthermore, encouragement is not optional. It’s part of ordinary Christian obedience.  A fact that we often overlook in the local church.  The word itself literally means to “put courage into.” Encouragement strengthens weak knees when a perilous diagnosis is given.  It steadies trembling hearts when a parent struggles with a wayward child.  And it reminds someone of what is true when they’re tempted to forget, which we so easily do.

   Romans 12:10 takes it even further: “Outdo one another in showing honor.”  Honor is closely tied to encouragement. To honor someone is to call out what is weighty and valuable about them. It’s to consciously and intentionally recognize grace in their life and say it out loud.  Think about how often Paul begins many of his letters.  Not with critique, but with gratitude. 

   Even in struggling churches, he names evidence of God’s work before he addresses correction. He honors before he exhorts.  Don’t get me wrong…encouragement doesn’t ignore flaws. It simply refuses to make them the headline.  And in a world that is fluent in criticism, biblical encouragement becomes radically countercultural.

2. A word to those with the gift of encouragement

   And here’s the best part…some of you are naturally wired this way.  You see potential in people. You instinctively notice growth. You feel compelled to say, “I see what God is doing in you.”  The Bible says that this isn’t merely personality.  It’s grace.

   Romans 12:8 says that if your gift is encouragement, then you should use it. The church needs you. Families need you. Leaders need you. Don’t underestimate the impact of your words. Some of us are standing today because someone like you spoke life into us at the right moment.  But here’s the caution: real encouragement must stay tethered to truth. It’s not vague positivity. It’s specific, God-centered affirmation.

   It’s words like: 
   “I see how patient you’ve been with your kids lately.”
   “I’ve noticed how faithfully you’ve shown up to serve.”
   “That was courageous conversation you had”
   “I see growth in you in this specific area”

   Encouragement that names something concrete becomes believable AND powerful.

3. Practical ways to practice encouragement

   As a church, we want to acknowledge that encouragement isn’t reserved for the naturally positive. It’s a discipline every believer can grow in. Here are some specific ways to build life with your words:

   Parents
   Your children are forming their identity in your voice. Correct them, yes but don’t let correction drown out affirmation. Tell them what you see that reflects God’s work in them. Words like…“I’m proud of the way you handled that” or “I love being your mom/dad.” One life-giving sentence can echo for years.

   Spouses
   In marriage, it’s easy to drift into logistics and problem-solving…trust me, I get it.  Be intentional about calling out strengths. Don’t underestimate the power of daily words like... “Thank you” or “I trust you” or “I’m grateful for the way you lead/care for our family.” Your everyday encouragement builds emotional safety. And safety strengthens intimacy.

   Leaders and bosses
   Authority magnifies your words…it’s just an “is”.  If all people hear from you is correction, morale will shrink.  And my guess is that’s not the culture you’re trying to create. But when you name effort, growth, and integrity, you multiply motivation.  Encouragement creates environments where people want to grow.  And what godly boss doesn’t want to see growth?

   Friends
   Don’t assume they know.  Send the text. Make the call. Say the thing. If you think something encouraging, say it! Don’t let life-giving words remain unspoken.

   The Church
   Imagine a church where honor was normal.  Where people were quicker to speak courage than critique. Where growth was noticed. Where faithfulness was celebrated.  That kind of culture doesn’t happen accidentally. It happens when ordinary believers decide to use their words to build life.

Ultimately, encouragement flows from the gospel.  In Christ, God has spoken the final word over you: loved, forgiven, accepted, secure.  When you know that’s your identity, you don’t need to compete, criticize, or protect your ego. You’re free to build others up.

So this week who needs a word of encouragement from you?  Here’s the simple but powerful challenge.  Put courage into someone.  You never know how far it will echo.

Pastor Jeremy